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Ten Years Too Late

by Thom Dunn

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1.
Michael died without a sound He thought all the love won’t save him now Took the pills and drank them down While I was somewhere else in town Then he closed his eyes and when he closed his eyes, that’s when he closed his eyes and drowned There was no divining There was no reviving From the cold New Haven ground Now my life’s alight a little less I sleep in late, thinking that’s best Will I wake at winter’s end when I can’t see around that bend? So I look for him on the darkest days When I’m feeling broke and drained Missing all the things I’ve lost Wondering what death would cost Then I hold that knife And when I hold that knife that’s when I see that hole inside So I close my eyes and when I close my eyes, I breathe again and start to cry Ten years too late and I still see your face There’s no escape from that domino chain Ten years too late and I can’t walk away now that I know what I’d leave in my wake There are days when I’m still down and I want to carve that pain right out I think of Michael, sadly smile, and I know I’ll still be here a while
2.
Michael died without a sound He thought all the love won’t save him now Took the pills and drank them down While I was somewhere else in town Then he closed his eyes and when he closed his eyes, that’s when he closed his eyes and drowned There was no divining There was no reviving From the cold New Haven ground Now my life’s alight a little less I sleep in late, thinking that’s best Will I wake at winter’s end when I can’t see around that bend? So I look for him on the darkest days When I’m feeling broke and drained Missing all the things I’ve lost Wondering what death would cost Then I hold that knife And when I hold that knife that’s when I see that hole inside So I close my eyes and when I close my eyes, I breathe again and start to cry Ten years too late and I still see your face There’s no escape from that domino chain Ten years too late and I can’t walk away now that I know what I’d leave in my wake There are days when I’m still down and I want to carve that pain right out I think of Michael, sadly smile, and I know I’ll still be here a while

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It's been ten years since my best friend lost his life to suicide. The pain never quite goes away, but it does change—especially when you're dealing with your own depression.

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released October 3, 2019

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Thom Dunn Boston, Massachusetts

Thom Dunn is a Boston-based writer, musician, & new media artist. He enjoys Oxford commas, metaphysics, and romantic clichés (especially when they involve whiskey), and he firmly believes that Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" is the single greatest atrocity committed against mankind. He is a graduate of Clarion Writer's Workshop at UCSD & Emerson College. thomdunn.net ... more

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